...and I was confident in my natural, yet inhuman skill to pass this test, even though I was pretty agitated that they had assigned me a seat at the front, where I was exposed to sniper fire. So I took my seat at the very back, where all the cool kids except those who I deem unworthy hang out. It was just me sitting back there, along with some of my honeys who have devoted their entire life to my existence.
After 3 hours of cruising through the (2.93 x 10^12) questions they had me waste my time on, I finally completed Section 1 of 4 on the test. I couldn't wait! I was halfway there to halfway there!
But as one of the lady-admins passed by to make sure I did not cheat, I heard the zzziipp of a silenced sniper round pierce the window to my side and completely miss me. I had dodged it. I ran to the door...then the beep of the small digital timer that lady-admin #2 wore around her neck stirred me from my daydream, and I proceeded to Section 2: English and Language Arts.
* This was a draft, started November of 2008 that I had only started...now complete (I hope).
Monday, June 29, 2009
Friday, April 17, 2009
Lately...
I've been wondering why I could not use the name Cafeteroman on some websites, and today I found out why...
Someone has been registering the name Cafeteroman on different websites under their own name, this however is not alarming to me in any way...in fact, it's quite flattering.
Just keep in mind that the name Cafeteroman is solely owned, operated, used, modified, franchised, expanded, logo typed by me and me only.
There are a few accounts NOT owned by me, they are false, invalid, etc..
Specifically:
Cafeteroman@yahoo.com
Netlog.com -account: Cafeteroman.
If any others are found and confirmed to not be under my control/ownership, they will be black- listed here, and boycotted.
Someone has been registering the name Cafeteroman on different websites under their own name, this however is not alarming to me in any way...in fact, it's quite flattering.
Just keep in mind that the name Cafeteroman is solely owned, operated, used, modified, franchised, expanded, logo typed by me and me only.
There are a few accounts NOT owned by me, they are false, invalid, etc..
Specifically:
Cafeteroman@yahoo.com
Netlog.com -account: Cafeteroman.
If any others are found and confirmed to not be under my control/ownership, they will be black- listed here, and boycotted.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
I was strolling through the mall on one fine day like I owned the place, which I do, and girls were plentiful. I glanced one way, and a group of babes giggled at my unnatural hotness. Glanced the other way, winked, and the girl melted away as if in a caught in a breeze. Ignoring them, I went and bought a Burgundian Pinot Noir at the nearest McDonald's. I pondered for a while, and wondered why the girls were unusually hateful today. I looked down and figured that I mismatched a Salvatore Ferragamo shoe with a Berluti. How foolish.
Knowing I couldn't appear like this in public, I continued my expedition throughout the department stores, jewelers, and restaurants buying stuff left and right. Realizing I overshot my destination, I turned back, reached the stairs leading to the roof, and climbed into the pilot's seat of my Sikorsky S-61. Once my bodyguard gave the all-clear sign, I took off. But wait, something's wrong on the radar screen.
It was a tomahawk cruise missile, surely it must have been launched by my mortal enemies, Sam Walton and his buddies: Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Giorgio Armani, and others. The missile collided with my helicopter. I fell..fell..and woke up on the floor in my bedroom on Friday.
Knowing I couldn't appear like this in public, I continued my expedition throughout the department stores, jewelers, and restaurants buying stuff left and right. Realizing I overshot my destination, I turned back, reached the stairs leading to the roof, and climbed into the pilot's seat of my Sikorsky S-61. Once my bodyguard gave the all-clear sign, I took off. But wait, something's wrong on the radar screen.
It was a tomahawk cruise missile, surely it must have been launched by my mortal enemies, Sam Walton and his buddies: Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, Giorgio Armani, and others. The missile collided with my helicopter. I fell..fell..and woke up on the floor in my bedroom on Friday.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Paid Vacation
Poor, miserable Cafeteroman.
Cafeteroman wakes up at seven-thirty with an overweight brother, (AHEM) Correction: Slightly chubby, standing over him with a brand new nerf gun pointed at his vulnerable face.
No, it isn't a present. It's a wake up call.
The entire crime took three minutes.
He leaves my nephew and I with darts stuck on our arms, legs and foreheads. Struggling for breath, we barely manage to get up in time to fight the cockroaches for breakfast. We both manage to share a moldy cookie we find under the fridge. It tastes vintage, circa 1999, and it was good.
After we recieve our fill for the week, we are put to hard labor while the man sits back painting his masterpiece. We mow the backyard lawn, fighting off the hordes of flies, black widows, and wasps that swarm over us. The waves of heat engulf us, bathing us in wet- dog smell and sweat. After I revive my nephew with a few drops of sweat from my brow, we go to the front lawn, and start pulling weeds for a mercifully scarce eight hours with no break or refreshment. It's not like we should be expecting it anyway, but the smallest drop of hope keeps us on our feet.
Upon completion of the assigned task and soon afterward, my nephew humbly begs to go to Target, but in response he is beaten down with a curtain rail. I try to help, but the curtain rail is accidentally bent. My masters force me to straighten the 3/4 inch rod of steel and nickel alloy. And I fail.
For the rest of labor day weekend, I try to ignore the world by using up the 5 minutes of computer gameplay I've accumulated for the past eight years. My parents unexpectedly come to rescue me from my prison, and am taken home. The next day, because of the unrelenting mercy my parents exhibit, I am blessed with cutting the fifty acre front lawn using only my hands. God bless them.
Cafeteroman wakes up at seven-thirty with an overweight brother, (AHEM) Correction: Slightly chubby, standing over him with a brand new nerf gun pointed at his vulnerable face.
No, it isn't a present. It's a wake up call.
The entire crime took three minutes.
He leaves my nephew and I with darts stuck on our arms, legs and foreheads. Struggling for breath, we barely manage to get up in time to fight the cockroaches for breakfast. We both manage to share a moldy cookie we find under the fridge. It tastes vintage, circa 1999, and it was good.
After we recieve our fill for the week, we are put to hard labor while the man sits back painting his masterpiece. We mow the backyard lawn, fighting off the hordes of flies, black widows, and wasps that swarm over us. The waves of heat engulf us, bathing us in wet- dog smell and sweat. After I revive my nephew with a few drops of sweat from my brow, we go to the front lawn, and start pulling weeds for a mercifully scarce eight hours with no break or refreshment. It's not like we should be expecting it anyway, but the smallest drop of hope keeps us on our feet.
Upon completion of the assigned task and soon afterward, my nephew humbly begs to go to Target, but in response he is beaten down with a curtain rail. I try to help, but the curtain rail is accidentally bent. My masters force me to straighten the 3/4 inch rod of steel and nickel alloy. And I fail.
For the rest of labor day weekend, I try to ignore the world by using up the 5 minutes of computer gameplay I've accumulated for the past eight years. My parents unexpectedly come to rescue me from my prison, and am taken home. The next day, because of the unrelenting mercy my parents exhibit, I am blessed with cutting the fifty acre front lawn using only my hands. God bless them.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Year Long Project.
Redesigning the Hummer H1. Part 1.
Once upon a weekday dreary, as I sit at my desk weak and weary, an idea sprung into my head...and thought. And thought. And - you ready for this? .....And thought.
So, being the merciful and generous guy that I am, it is in my piqued interest that I share this thought with you, my audience.
Why did GM stop producing Hummer H1's? Was this necessary?
As you may well know by now, H1's were originally manufactured my AM General, under the name HUMVWW. It afterwards became famous when it became a vital ground support vehicle in the early 90's, and when Arnold Schwarzenegger decided to buy six by the end of the decade.
Moving on, does GM even realize it's missing a few thousand workers put out of a job from building those beasts? Does it realize that there has been leagues of fans, enthusiasts and onlookers since it first came out of AM General's, and GM's womb of design?
Realizing this, I continued pondering over the matter, exploring the slight possibilities of it's revival in a few years, but concluded that those chances were long dead and decomposing. So I thought, 'Why not build a new Hummer/HUMVWW?'.
The Humvees are old, yet they're still being loaded with heavy equipment such as armor, weapons, supplies, etc which stresses the chassis underneath, which slows the vehicle down, which reduces fuel efficiency, on top of the already horrendous fuel economy.
So why not redesign the humvee? The advantages would be great to both consumer and company, with very affordable prices, great profits at the company end, yet using technology and materials found only on top end armored vehicles. Given, there have been many more with the same ideas, and plans as I, and maybe even built one, but it's still worth a try.
This Hummer Concept 1, or HC1, as named while I write this up, would outperform the most well equipped humvee out there.
Starting from the ground up, the tires would be armor plated run-flats, the shocks would be your standard hydraulics, but would be assisted with a new repelling magnetic shock absorbers, recently developed by a company I can't quite recall at the moment. Of course, with every off road concept, 4x4 and 4 wheel steering would be readily available for maneuverability and agility in rough terrain environments.
The chassis would be fully reinforced and boxed by aircraft grade aluminum with high-carbon steel struts for weight. The drivetrain would still run the standard Allison Transmission, but would be coupled with a high-output, high efficiency, and a diesel/ethanol engine for more torque on even lower RPM's and even lower weight.
Body panels would be semi- solid titanium at the core, with a carbon fiber shell on the outer for weight, cosmetics, and light refraction. As in the now retrofitted M1A1 Abrams tanks and the new EOD unit, the HC1 would have angled armored underbody panels for aerodynamics and safety. If ever, the interior of the civilian version would be ergonomic, practical, and posh. Seating capacity would be increased from 4 in the HUMVWW, to about 6-8. I have yet to work out dimensions, but it would be larger, if not similar in size.
//
When possible, I will add part 2, this would consist of a more detailed description, including dimensions, reference diagrams, materials, expected performance with "x" parts, and rough sketches. Later on in the project, after the brainstorming process is complete, I will commence to build a prototype model from random materials, since I have nothing else to build on...
//DISCLAIMER\\
-----------------------
This project is not meant to provide anyone with hopes, it's only a brainstorming process, and the posts that this project contains is only meant to share with you my train of thought and ideas. This blog is not based on, or uses any copyrighted material used without permission of their pertaining authors. This project will most likely never become reality, but I will do my best to make it happen. I do not take any responsibility for any inconvenience or harm that this may have caused you, including but not limited to: broken arms, sprained ankles, concussions, and severe pshychological trauma that lasts for the rest of your life.
In summary, if you dont like what I write, deal with it. Two, if I find out you copied and pasted my work into your pathetic paper you call a literary work, essay, research paper, or documentation, then thats your problem because you'll live with the guilt, and mainly because the general audience will know it appeared here first you miserable little cretin.
Once upon a weekday dreary, as I sit at my desk weak and weary, an idea sprung into my head...and thought. And thought. And - you ready for this? .....And thought.
So, being the merciful and generous guy that I am, it is in my piqued interest that I share this thought with you, my audience.
Why did GM stop producing Hummer H1's? Was this necessary?
As you may well know by now, H1's were originally manufactured my AM General, under the name HUMVWW. It afterwards became famous when it became a vital ground support vehicle in the early 90's, and when Arnold Schwarzenegger decided to buy six by the end of the decade.
Moving on, does GM even realize it's missing a few thousand workers put out of a job from building those beasts? Does it realize that there has been leagues of fans, enthusiasts and onlookers since it first came out of AM General's, and GM's womb of design?
Realizing this, I continued pondering over the matter, exploring the slight possibilities of it's revival in a few years, but concluded that those chances were long dead and decomposing. So I thought, 'Why not build a new Hummer/HUMVWW?'.
The Humvees are old, yet they're still being loaded with heavy equipment such as armor, weapons, supplies, etc which stresses the chassis underneath, which slows the vehicle down, which reduces fuel efficiency, on top of the already horrendous fuel economy.
So why not redesign the humvee? The advantages would be great to both consumer and company, with very affordable prices, great profits at the company end, yet using technology and materials found only on top end armored vehicles. Given, there have been many more with the same ideas, and plans as I, and maybe even built one, but it's still worth a try.
This Hummer Concept 1, or HC1, as named while I write this up, would outperform the most well equipped humvee out there.
Starting from the ground up, the tires would be armor plated run-flats, the shocks would be your standard hydraulics, but would be assisted with a new repelling magnetic shock absorbers, recently developed by a company I can't quite recall at the moment. Of course, with every off road concept, 4x4 and 4 wheel steering would be readily available for maneuverability and agility in rough terrain environments.
The chassis would be fully reinforced and boxed by aircraft grade aluminum with high-carbon steel struts for weight. The drivetrain would still run the standard Allison Transmission, but would be coupled with a high-output, high efficiency, and a diesel/ethanol engine for more torque on even lower RPM's and even lower weight.
Body panels would be semi- solid titanium at the core, with a carbon fiber shell on the outer for weight, cosmetics, and light refraction. As in the now retrofitted M1A1 Abrams tanks and the new EOD unit, the HC1 would have angled armored underbody panels for aerodynamics and safety. If ever, the interior of the civilian version would be ergonomic, practical, and posh. Seating capacity would be increased from 4 in the HUMVWW, to about 6-8. I have yet to work out dimensions, but it would be larger, if not similar in size.
//
When possible, I will add part 2, this would consist of a more detailed description, including dimensions, reference diagrams, materials, expected performance with "x" parts, and rough sketches. Later on in the project, after the brainstorming process is complete, I will commence to build a prototype model from random materials, since I have nothing else to build on...
//DISCLAIMER\\
-----------------------
This project is not meant to provide anyone with hopes, it's only a brainstorming process, and the posts that this project contains is only meant to share with you my train of thought and ideas. This blog is not based on, or uses any copyrighted material used without permission of their pertaining authors. This project will most likely never become reality, but I will do my best to make it happen. I do not take any responsibility for any inconvenience or harm that this may have caused you, including but not limited to: broken arms, sprained ankles, concussions, and severe pshychological trauma that lasts for the rest of your life.
In summary, if you dont like what I write, deal with it. Two, if I find out you copied and pasted my work into your pathetic paper you call a literary work, essay, research paper, or documentation, then thats your problem because you'll live with the guilt, and mainly because the general audience will know it appeared here first you miserable little cretin.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Overhaulin'
Hello ladies and chicks,
I'm back to overhaul, modernize and pimp out this blog to the dismay of all of you.
I'll be continuing this blog as of today because I'm bored out of my mind here at the house, and because the life of Cafeteroman is too good to be kept from my official fanclub members. :-]
Stay Tuned.
I'm back to overhaul, modernize and pimp out this blog to the dismay of all of you.
I'll be continuing this blog as of today because I'm bored out of my mind here at the house, and because the life of Cafeteroman is too good to be kept from my official fanclub members. :-]
Stay Tuned.
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Overhaul
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